The Disgruntled Client

2006-10-20

The Real Deal

It's a free country. You can believe what you will but what this is really about isn't all personal. I'm guessing I'm not the first to feel this way about things that happen all the time. And I don't think I'm the only one who's had it.

Why am I doing this? I'm sick and tired of...

1. Agencies that take their sweet time getting back to you, on your dime.

2. Agencies that insist on higher profile, higher spending, splashier media campaigns. Why not guerrilla? Why not ambient?  Digital? Mobile?  

3. Agencies who can't see beyond pumped-up egos, who think that they're better than you, and never listen. 

4. Agencies who don't bother to understand my business and my brand.

5. Agencies who spend more time thinking about awards than selling my brand.

Maybe that's just me. What do you guys think?

2006-10-17

CAUGHT ON CAM: WEASEL & WEASEL AD AGENCY

Those bastards!... I knew it! … this morning was Project Status Meeting day with the ad agency. My hubby’s been all “what’s wrong with you?” about the stress I keep bringing home (sorry, honey) and joked that I should leave my phone on sometime and really get them. I didn’t take him seriously at first, but today after an hour or so of the agency team’s brand of bs, I thought why not? Let’s see if they’re as full of themselves as I think they are. So I excused myself, left the phone on and… look, just watch it, okay?



AE: See what I put up with?

CD: STUPID …it’s just a logo! make it bigger. JESUS! what about my award?????

AE: I know... It’s a launch, THAT BITCH!

CD: Yeah, we’re the agency, she’s JUST THE CLIENT! we’re the experts…

AE: I could do her job easily.

CD: You can give her fashion tips

AE: Hey, Shh!!!!!!! I think she's coming!!!

2006-10-12

MEN ARE FROM MARS?... DON’T YOU MEAN URANUS?

And so it goes. My favorite ad agency, in this case my favorite account person, showed me more work which didn’t exactly set me on fire. At this point, my brand manager mentioned the bottleneck with the storyboards was also holding back print, radio, BTL, etc. We got the usual typically male reassurances… “we’re there”… “we’re on top of it”… “we’ll call you” … (where have I heard that before?)

And that’s about when it got worse. Remember my boss I haven’t mentioned because he hasn’t been here ?(sometimes I think never is?) Well, speak of the devil and who appears. He gives me the usal talk on accountability, urgency, commitment, who’s minding the shop… blah-blah.

I just shut the static off after about fiteen minutes of this and wonder about that “Y” chromosome everyone makes such a big deal about. “Y” indeed?

2006-10-10

THEY’RE BA-ACK!

The ad agency, I mean. Not back in a good way, Just back. I hate repeating myself. But that’s just me. I think they kinda like it. Glad someone’s happy.

Hey, I know, let’s talk about job satisfaction, at least the way it looks to me.

You get out of school and enter the real world…one which seems to be run by free enterprise, global consumerism and technology that changes our preferences everyday…what do you listen to, what do you wear, where are you having lunch, blah, blah…

Most people, they don’t mind staying the happy consumer. Some of us choose to be her making them happy. Or at least to help them make the happiest choice. That’s us, our world. A small world, but still with room for a crossroads: Do you want to be Client , providing products, services and solutions, etc. or do you join the Ad Agency and sell Consumers our products and services for us?

And that’s where lines are drawn, you choose sides and maybe choose your weapons. But you do what you do, you do what you have to and you do your job. then you go home, you sleep at night, get up and do it again, ‘til you’re really good at it. Simple, right?

In a perfect world, you could team up for a win-win partnership but in mine?...

oh, darn. The good news is we’re still launching in November. The bad news is that’s all the good news I’ve got.

- Disgruntled Client

2006-10-05

HAVE YOU SEEN MY AD AGENCY?

Well, I thought I had. Guess everyone makes mistakes. But I'm getting ahead of myself… what I meant was I thought I knew what I was in for back at the pitch, you know? We all do. So you get the big package, they open it up for you and after that it's all ink and champagne, right? You've signed the contracts, they've got the business and everything goes just like they said. The end.

Actually, I'm just getting started. Drinking double large cappuccinos day and night will do that. But you need the edge, that's why you got yourself an ad agency. I just never thought it would turn out to be that kind of edge.

Deadlines? Oh, yeah, everyone's got those. Moving project breaks, moving meetings the day after, never mind your boss leaving to call in on Region for a week, that's perfect, works for us, we'll knock him dead when he comes back. They don't have to deal with the old perv's e-mails on the hour, you're watching their back, right?... you're partners! You get used to it, but that gets old real fast.

The big launch is November, right?, today was the ad agency's third pass and of course, we aren't there yet. I mean, how hard can it be? Yes, they finally got something approved but it still needs work. You'd think they got it by now.

But nooo. You've spent the past year on product concepts and pricing strats, sourced all your raw materials, checked your distribution channels, the new plant's online, everything's been green-lighted and all you get for it is "you wanted attitude, we're working on attitude". I just wish they'd work faster.

- Disgruntled Client